Sedaris on the Undecideds

For as long as this presidential election season has been, it does seem a tad ridiculous that we are still talking about undecided voters. I guess if you ever feel in life like nobody ever pays attention to you, all you have to do is move to Ohio and become an undecided voter. Maybe I’ve just been too polite and/or patient until now to really think much more about it, but I am glad that David Sedaris finally called out these “undecideds” in a New Yorker article.

It’s worth reading in its entirety, but I can’t help myself and need to do some quoting.

“To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

I mean, really, what’s to be confused about?”

And…

“I wonder if, in the end, the undecideds aren’t the biggest pessimists of all. Here they could order the airline chicken, but, then again, hmm. “Isn’t that adding an extra step?” they ask themselves. “If it’s all going to be chewed up and swallowed, why not cut to the chase, and go with the platter of shit?”

Ah, though, that’s where the broken glass comes in.”

Read the whole thing here.

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~ by ohactually on October 20, 2008.

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